The Wonder Paradox Study Guide: Difference between revisions
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It makes an excellent book club read for secular groups, whose book clubs usually tend towards the more [[scientific]] and cerebral than the [[poetic]]. It offers a lot of fodder for discussion. | It makes an excellent book club read for secular groups, whose book clubs usually tend towards the more [[scientific]] and cerebral than the [[poetic]]. It offers a lot of fodder for discussion. | ||
== Introduction == | |||
This book offers a unique [[perspective]] in the [[atheist]] literary [[canon]], because it looks at religion from a poetic and functional perspective rather than a [[literal]] one. It asks "what [[psychological]] functions do rituals and [[scriptural]] readings serve?" and acknowledges they can have [[positive]] benefits | This book offers a unique [[perspective]] in the [[atheist]] literary [[canon]], because it looks at religion from a poetic and functional perspective rather than a [[literal]] one. It asks "what [[psychological]] functions do rituals and [[scriptural]] readings serve?" and acknowledges they can have [[positive]] benefits | ||
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Rather than clinging to [[tradition]] as many [[secular gurus]] have advocated, Hecht constructs a new [[ritual]] canon using her extensive knowledge and [[love]] of poetry to find [[words]] that can convey the [[necessary]] gravitas when important moments call for it. | Rather than clinging to [[tradition]] as many [[secular gurus]] have advocated, Hecht constructs a new [[ritual]] canon using her extensive knowledge and [[love]] of poetry to find [[words]] that can convey the [[necessary]] gravitas when important moments call for it. | ||
=== Discussion Questions === | |||
* Do you agree that ritual is important to human [[psychology]]? | * Do you agree that ritual is important to human [[psychology]]? | ||
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* What do you think of the term "Interfaithless"? | * What do you think of the term "Interfaithless"? | ||
== 1. Decisions == | |||
Many people pray or meditate in order to help make important decisions. These rituals can focus the [[mind]] on a problem, help set intentions and goals, and cultivate [[hope]] for success. | Many people pray or meditate in order to help make important decisions. These rituals can focus the [[mind]] on a problem, help set intentions and goals, and cultivate [[hope]] for success. | ||
=== Discussion Questions === | |||
* Can [[ritualized]] reflection help with decision making? | * Can [[ritualized]] reflection help with decision making? | ||
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* What is the "sweet spot between gravitas and [[pleasure]]" for secular people? | * What is the "sweet spot between gravitas and [[pleasure]]" for secular people? | ||
=== Poems === | |||
* Traveler There Is No Road | * Traveler There Is No Road | ||
== 2. Eating == | |||
Many [[religions]] encourage saying a prayer before meals, especially holiday meals and banquets. These practices can help us appreciate our [[food]] and the [[complex]] [[natural]] and human systems that have produced the abundance we currently enjoy. | Many [[religions]] encourage saying a prayer before meals, especially holiday meals and banquets. These practices can help us appreciate our [[food]] and the [[complex]] [[natural]] and human systems that have produced the abundance we currently enjoy. | ||
=== Discussion Questions === | |||
* Did your [[family]] say prayers before meals? | * Did your [[family]] say prayers before meals? | ||
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* What are the missing words in "Not only the sugar, but the days, to hold"? | * What are the missing words in "Not only the sugar, but the days, to hold"? | ||
=== Poems === | |||
* From Blossoms | * From Blossoms | ||
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* Wild Geese | * Wild Geese | ||
== 3. Gratitude == | |||
Many scientific studies have shown that practices cultivating gratitude have a huge benefit to our [[happiness]]. Prayers of gratitude are a part of every religion in some form. | Many scientific studies have shown that practices cultivating gratitude have a huge benefit to our [[happiness]]. Prayers of gratitude are a part of every religion in some form. | ||
=== Discussion Questions === | |||
* Do you ever feel the need to thank the [[universe]] for being awesome and giving you [[consciousness]]? | * Do you ever feel the need to thank the [[universe]] for being awesome and giving you [[consciousness]]? | ||
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* What's in your cosmic gratitude poem? | * What's in your cosmic gratitude poem? | ||
=== Poems === | |||
* Alphabet | * Alphabet | ||
* Mark Strand end of poem | * Mark Strand end of poem | ||
== 4. Sleep == | |||
Bedtime rituals can help you calm your mind and create Pavlovian triggers that cause it to enter the sleep state more easily. | Bedtime rituals can help you calm your mind and create Pavlovian triggers that cause it to enter the sleep state more easily. | ||
=== Discussion Questions === | |||
* Have you ever dreamed about Dolly Parton? Fran Liebowitz? (for those TN or NYC especially) | * Have you ever dreamed about Dolly Parton? Fran Liebowitz? (for those TN or NYC especially) | ||
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* Can a bedtime ritual help you sleep? | * Can a bedtime ritual help you sleep? | ||
=== Poems === | |||
* The Sleep that Comes Over Me | * The Sleep that Comes Over Me | ||
== 5. Meditation == | |||
[[Meditation]] is like prayer without the [[wikipedia:Kayfabe|kayfabe]]. It can help calm your mind, reduce anxiety and negativity, set goals and intentions, and lead the mind to solutions for persistent personal [[problems]]. | [[Meditation]] is like prayer without the [[wikipedia:Kayfabe|kayfabe]]. It can help calm your mind, reduce anxiety and negativity, set goals and intentions, and lead the mind to solutions for persistent personal [[problems]]. | ||
=== Discussion Questions === | |||
* Who has done meditation? Who does it regularly? | * Who has done meditation? Who does it regularly? | ||
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* Do you suffer from rumination? Do you have a mental technique to avoid it? | * Do you suffer from rumination? Do you have a mental technique to avoid it? | ||
=== Poems === | |||
* Wannabe Hoochie Mama Gallery of Realities’ Red Dress Code | * Wannabe Hoochie Mama Gallery of Realities’ Red Dress Code | ||
== 6. Happier Holidays == | |||
Putting the meaning back into holidays that secularism has removed. Recasting harvest holidays as "earth days." | Putting the meaning back into holidays that secularism has removed. Recasting harvest holidays as "earth days." | ||
=== Discussion Questions === | |||
* Do you celebrate [[religious]] holidays like Christmas and Easter? Did you always? | * Do you celebrate [[religious]] holidays like Christmas and Easter? Did you always? | ||
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* Which holidays do people in your life [[care]] about most? | * Which holidays do people in your life [[care]] about most? | ||
=== Poems === | |||
* New Year’s morning— [[everything]] is in blossom! I feel about average. | * New Year’s morning— [[everything]] is in blossom! I feel about average. | ||
* Holiday poem template / "Christmas Cabinet" | * Holiday poem template / "Christmas Cabinet" | ||
== 7. Sad Holidays / Facing our Fears == | |||
Sad holidays help us grieve loss and remind us of really bad things that we would like to not forget in order to avoid them in the [[future]], like World Wars and 9/11s. | Sad holidays help us grieve loss and remind us of really bad things that we would like to not forget in order to avoid them in the [[future]], like World Wars and 9/11s. | ||
=== Discussion Questions === | |||
* Don't we really need a [[good]] [[death]]/ancestor remembrance holiday like day of the dead? | * Don't we really need a [[good]] [[death]]/ancestor remembrance holiday like day of the dead? | ||
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* How does having regular holidays to remember tragic events help people process them? | * How does having regular holidays to remember tragic events help people process them? | ||
=== Poems === | |||
* Could Have | * Could Have | ||
== 8. Shame, Regret, Guilt, and Grace == | |||
In the opening story, "I'm [[just]] getting ready to be blessed" gives an example of a positive response to misfortune enabled by [[belief]]. | In the opening story, "I'm [[just]] getting ready to be blessed" gives an example of a positive response to misfortune enabled by [[belief]]. | ||
=== Discussion Questions === | |||
* Is forgiveness the antidote to [[cancel culture]]? | * Is forgiveness the antidote to [[cancel culture]]? | ||
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* Do shame and regret subside in middle age? Y'all should know! | * Do shame and regret subside in middle age? Y'all should know! | ||
=== Poems === | |||
* Sonnet 29 | * Sonnet 29 | ||
== 9. Sabbaths and Fool's Days == | |||
Celebrating rest, leisure [[time]], and the joy of pulling pranks. It also makes the point that change is the only constant, using the [[metaphor]] "you can never wash in the same river twice." | Celebrating rest, leisure [[time]], and the joy of pulling pranks. It also makes the point that change is the only constant, using the [[metaphor]] "you can never wash in the same river twice." | ||
=== Discussion Questions === | |||
* What would you do in a "last man on earth" situation? How long before you get bored? | * What would you do in a "last man on earth" situation? How long before you get bored? | ||
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* Other than Loki, who are your favorite trickster gods? | * Other than Loki, who are your favorite trickster gods? | ||
=== Poems === | |||
* Things I Didn't Know I Loved | * Things I Didn't Know I Loved | ||
== 10. Earth Day, Rebirth, Climate Change == | |||
Many holidays celebrate our [[connection]] to the Earth already, and many other religious celebrations that invoke god could be reframed as celebrating [[nature]] or the universe. | Many holidays celebrate our [[connection]] to the Earth already, and many other religious celebrations that invoke god could be reframed as celebrating [[nature]] or the universe. | ||
=== Discussion Questions === | |||
* Is connection to nature the [[materialist]]'s equivalent to connection to god? | * Is connection to nature the [[materialist]]'s equivalent to connection to god? | ||
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* How is the experience of understanding an allusion like an inside joke? | * How is the experience of understanding an allusion like an inside joke? | ||
=== Poems === | |||
* When the World as we Knew It Ended | * When the World as we Knew It Ended | ||
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* Ozymandius | * Ozymandius | ||
== 11. Weddings == | |||
If there's ever a time where people regularly research and choose poetry readings, it's a wedding! Weddings are also one of the primary venues for forced religiosity. Often, this is due to a lack of good secular templates for weddings, though this is rapidly changing. | If there's ever a time where people regularly research and choose poetry readings, it's a wedding! Weddings are also one of the primary venues for forced religiosity. Often, this is due to a lack of good secular templates for weddings, though this is rapidly changing. | ||
=== Discussion Questions === | |||
* Did you have a religious or a secular wedding? | * Did you have a religious or a secular wedding? | ||
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* How does the liturgical nature of wedding [[traditions]] help you feel "more married"? | * How does the liturgical nature of wedding [[traditions]] help you feel "more married"? | ||
=== Poems === | |||
* Married Love | * Married Love | ||
* I Carry Your Heart With Me | * I Carry Your Heart With Me | ||
== 12. Babies == | |||
Celebrating the brining of a new life into the world is [[universal]]. This chapter also discusses the Sufi poet Rumi, whose works offer many great examples of poems that evoke the sacred and [[wonderous]] without explicitly [[supernatural]] references. | Celebrating the brining of a new life into the world is [[universal]]. This chapter also discusses the Sufi poet Rumi, whose works offer many great examples of poems that evoke the sacred and [[wonderous]] without explicitly [[supernatural]] references. | ||
=== Discussion Questions === | |||
* Having a baby - the biggest life change of all? | * Having a baby - the biggest life change of all? | ||
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* Did you have a "baby welcoming ceremony"? | * Did you have a "baby welcoming ceremony"? | ||
=== Poems === | |||
* You Were Born With Potential | * You Were Born With Potential | ||
== 13. Coming of Age == | |||
One of the most important rituals that we neglect in the modern age is the Coming of Age ceremony. These rituals can help [[children]] flip a mental switch into greater maturity and responsibility. | One of the most important rituals that we neglect in the modern age is the Coming of Age ceremony. These rituals can help [[children]] flip a mental switch into greater maturity and responsibility. | ||
=== Discussion Questions === | |||
* Are graduations is the best coming of age ceremony most kids get? What are they lacking? | * Are graduations is the best coming of age ceremony most kids get? What are they lacking? | ||
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* Have you heard of a "gift book" as a humanist tradition? | * Have you heard of a "gift book" as a humanist tradition? | ||
=== Poems === | |||
* Nonsense poems | * Nonsense poems | ||
* Jabberwocky | * Jabberwocky | ||
== 14. Love == | |||
Love poems, haiku and limerick are the most common poems that most people write themselves. This chapter also discusses how love poetry and rituals can be an integral part of the process of seduction, allowing people to recognize each others signals and develop emotional bonds with intentionality. | Love poems, haiku and limerick are the most common poems that most people write themselves. This chapter also discusses how love poetry and rituals can be an integral part of the process of seduction, allowing people to recognize each others signals and develop emotional bonds with intentionality. | ||
=== Discussion Questions === | |||
* Who has written a love poem before? | * Who has written a love poem before? | ||
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* Does love benefit from scarcity? It it easier to find your soul mate in a small pool? How do arranged marriages and small towns [[work]]? | * Does love benefit from scarcity? It it easier to find your soul mate in a small pool? How do arranged marriages and small towns [[work]]? | ||
=== Poems === | |||
* Song of Solomon | * Song of Solomon | ||
* I'm Glad You've Lost Your Mind Over Someone and It's Not Me | * I'm Glad You've Lost Your Mind Over Someone and It's Not Me | ||
== 15. Funerals and Memorials == | |||
[[Funerals]] are traumatic for many secular people who find themselves being proselytized to in times of grief, often by a religious figure who did not know the deceased well, and often against their expressed wishes. | [[Funerals]] are traumatic for many secular people who find themselves being proselytized to in times of grief, often by a religious figure who did not know the deceased well, and often against their expressed wishes. | ||
Rituals for grieving and mourning can give direction to the process that leads ultimately to closure. Without these rituals, it is easier to become stuck in cycles of rumination or emotional suppression. | Rituals for grieving and mourning can give direction to the process that leads ultimately to closure. Without these rituals, it is easier to become stuck in cycles of rumination or emotional suppression. | ||
=== Discussion Questions === | |||
* How many have attended a funeral and felt uncomfortable being proselytized to? | * How many have attended a funeral and felt uncomfortable being proselytized to? | ||
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* What do you think of the list of funeral poem requirements? Anything missing/incorrect? | * What do you think of the list of funeral poem requirements? Anything missing/incorrect? | ||
=== Poems === | |||
* Love Sonnet LXXXIX | * Love Sonnet LXXXIX | ||
== 16. Depression and Misery == | |||
The epidemic of mental illness in modern [[society]] suggests there may be something missing from society to help people process their negative emotions. | The epidemic of mental illness in modern [[society]] suggests there may be something missing from society to help people process their negative emotions. | ||
=== Discussion Questions === | |||
* Did you ever turn to religion when you were depressed and religious? | * Did you ever turn to religion when you were depressed and religious? | ||
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* Do you have personal rituals to cheer yourself up intentionally? | * Do you have personal rituals to cheer yourself up intentionally? | ||
=== Poems === | |||
* Let Your Name Touch Her Lips | * Let Your Name Touch Her Lips | ||
== 17. Recovering from Political Loss == | |||
This chapter has unfortunately become highly relevant once again, even though it was composed as a response to a previous incarnation of loss. This chapter explores how poetry can [[inspire]] our sense of [[justice]] and call us to [[political]] action. [[Facts]] are convincing, but when we combine them with poetry they become truly compelling. | This chapter has unfortunately become highly relevant once again, even though it was composed as a response to a previous incarnation of loss. This chapter explores how poetry can [[inspire]] our sense of [[justice]] and call us to [[political]] action. [[Facts]] are convincing, but when we combine them with poetry they become truly compelling. | ||
=== Discussion Questions === | |||
* How nice is it that we're talking poetry, not *shudder* [[politics]]? | * How nice is it that we're talking poetry, not *shudder* [[politics]]? | ||
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* Is poetry necessary to motivate political action? | * Is poetry necessary to motivate political action? | ||
=== Poems === | |||
* Still I Rise | * Still I Rise | ||
== 18. Choosing a Code to Live By == | |||
Poems that reinforce our moral codes, ideals and [[values]]. | Poems that reinforce our moral codes, ideals and [[values]]. | ||
=== Discussion Questions === | |||
* How do you feel about Ruyard Kipling's depiction of masculinity? | * How do you feel about Ruyard Kipling's depiction of masculinity? | ||
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* Is the Dead Parrot sketch poetry? | * Is the Dead Parrot sketch poetry? | ||
=== Poems === | |||
* The Choir Invisible | * The Choir Invisible | ||
* If | * If | ||
== 19. Talking to Children and Heavenlessness == | |||
Poetry that helps explain deep feelings and subjects in ways that children can understand. How to treat mythology and stories like Santa Clause when raising children to be critical thinkers. | Poetry that helps explain deep feelings and subjects in ways that children can understand. How to treat mythology and stories like Santa Clause when raising children to be critical thinkers. | ||
This chapter has a great quote and perfect metaphor for how our feelings, values, desires, and personalities change over time. "A six year old's reaction to [[sexuality]] is not predictive of the future." | This chapter has a great quote and perfect metaphor for how our feelings, values, desires, and personalities change over time. "A six year old's reaction to [[sexuality]] is not predictive of the future." | ||
=== Discussion Questions === | |||
* How did your parents handle the Santa Clause story? | * How did your parents handle the Santa Clause story? | ||
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* Is it better to gloss over the [[reality]] of death with stories about the [[afterlife]]? | * Is it better to gloss over the [[reality]] of death with stories about the [[afterlife]]? | ||
=== Poems === | |||
* O [[Beautiful]] End | * O [[Beautiful]] End | ||
== 20. Morality == | |||
This chapter explores secular [[morality]] and values systems. Love and morality are real facets of humanity. Love tends to be irrational, so it doesn't tend to be the focus of "rationalists." Confucianism, [[Social]] Contract, [[Utilitarianism]], Objectivism, [[Communism]], Humanism are all examples of secular values systems. | This chapter explores secular [[morality]] and values systems. Love and morality are real facets of humanity. Love tends to be irrational, so it doesn't tend to be the focus of "rationalists." Confucianism, [[Social]] Contract, [[Utilitarianism]], Objectivism, [[Communism]], Humanism are all examples of secular values systems. | ||
=== Discussion Questions === | |||
* Does the universal witness improve moral outcomes? | * Does the universal witness improve moral outcomes? | ||
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* How can we find poetic truth without confusing it with [[objective]] reality? | * How can we find poetic truth without confusing it with [[objective]] reality? | ||
=== Poems === | |||
* A Mother in a Refugee Camp | * A Mother in a Refugee Camp | ||
Revision as of 12:21, 15 February 2025
The Wonder Paradox was written in order to suggest a template for secular rituals that can substitute for the many holidays, life celebrations, and daily affirmations that religion provides. Since this is one of the primary goals of this wiki project, and most of the poems are in the public domain, much of the poetry used throughout this wiki has been borrowed from her book.
It makes an excellent book club read for secular groups, whose book clubs usually tend towards the more scientific and cerebral than the poetic. It offers a lot of fodder for discussion.
Introduction
This book offers a unique perspective in the atheist literary canon, because it looks at religion from a poetic and functional perspective rather than a literal one. It asks "what psychological functions do rituals and scriptural readings serve?" and acknowledges they can have positive benefits
This book really helps atheists and others with scientific worldviews to understand scripture as poetry that is not meant to be interpreted literally. Like poetry, it contains wisdom in the way it elicits emotional truths, and allows for interpretation that helps create meaning.
Rather than clinging to tradition as many secular gurus have advocated, Hecht constructs a new ritual canon using her extensive knowledge and love of poetry to find words that can convey the necessary gravitas when important moments call for it.
Discussion Questions
- Do you agree that ritual is important to human psychology?
- Can ritual be rational or is it inherently irrational?
- Can poetry reinforce reason?
- Define "cultural liturgy"
- Define "liminal space"
- What do you think of the term "Interfaithless"?
1. Decisions
Many people pray or meditate in order to help make important decisions. These rituals can focus the mind on a problem, help set intentions and goals, and cultivate hope for success.
Discussion Questions
- Can ritualized reflection help with decision making?
- Do any of you have a contemplation or decision making ritual that replaces prayer?
- What is the "sweet spot between gravitas and pleasure" for secular people?
Poems
- Traveler There Is No Road
2. Eating
Many religions encourage saying a prayer before meals, especially holiday meals and banquets. These practices can help us appreciate our food and the complex natural and human systems that have produced the abundance we currently enjoy.
Discussion Questions
- Did your family say prayers before meals?
- Do any of you currently practice a gratitude ritual before meals?
- What about Thanksgiving, holidays, or banquets? Do you offer words of gratitude on these occasions?
- Can a moment of reflection before eating help with diet or eating disorders?
- What are the missing words in "Not only the sugar, but the days, to hold"?
Poems
- From Blossoms
- Frost the Road Not Taken
- Ate the Fellow Raw
- Wild Geese
3. Gratitude
Many scientific studies have shown that practices cultivating gratitude have a huge benefit to our happiness. Prayers of gratitude are a part of every religion in some form.
Discussion Questions
- Do you ever feel the need to thank the universe for being awesome and giving you consciousness?
- Do humanists have a responsibility to cultivate generosity?
- Who has kept a gratitude journal? What was your experience?
- "If you aren't in love with late-capitalism, why are you letting it store all its stuff at your place?"
- Is a poem better if its stanzas follow a mathematical pattern like the Fibonacci sequence?
- What's in your cosmic gratitude poem?
Poems
- Alphabet
- Mark Strand end of poem
4. Sleep
Bedtime rituals can help you calm your mind and create Pavlovian triggers that cause it to enter the sleep state more easily.
Discussion Questions
- Have you ever dreamed about Dolly Parton? Fran Liebowitz? (for those TN or NYC especially)
- Who was taught to say prayers before bed as a kid?
- Can you still recite the "Now I lay me down to sleep...." poem from memory?
- Has anyone kept up a bedtime ritual?
- Can a bedtime ritual help you sleep?
Poems
- The Sleep that Comes Over Me
5. Meditation
Meditation is like prayer without the kayfabe. It can help calm your mind, reduce anxiety and negativity, set goals and intentions, and lead the mind to solutions for persistent personal problems.
Discussion Questions
- Who has done meditation? Who does it regularly?
- Does focusing our mind on our goals or wishes help make them come true?
- Does humanism/science fail to address mental states and qualia?
- Is it possible to develop a scientific practice for describing and inducing mental states?
- What is your original face before your parents were born?
- Who is it who drags your corpse around?
- Do you suffer from rumination? Do you have a mental technique to avoid it?
Poems
- Wannabe Hoochie Mama Gallery of Realities’ Red Dress Code
6. Happier Holidays
Putting the meaning back into holidays that secularism has removed. Recasting harvest holidays as "earth days."
Discussion Questions
- Do you celebrate religious holidays like Christmas and Easter? Did you always?
- Do you celebrate the "humanist holidays"? [1][2]
- We should be doing more Diwalis! (not a question, just a fact)
- What holidays would you feel uncomfortable missing entirely?
- What holidays do you personally work hardest on, in whatever way?
- Are there holidays you dread?
- Which holiday most delights you?
- Are there holidays outside your tradition that you find attractive?
- Which holidays do people in your life care about most?
Poems
- New Year’s morning— everything is in blossom! I feel about average.
- Holiday poem template / "Christmas Cabinet"
7. Sad Holidays / Facing our Fears
Sad holidays help us grieve loss and remind us of really bad things that we would like to not forget in order to avoid them in the future, like World Wars and 9/11s.
Discussion Questions
- Don't we really need a good death/ancestor remembrance holiday like day of the dead?
- Does it say something about the way our culture deals with death that we don't have such a holiday?
- Is "being made of star stuff" an inherently scientific, spiritual and poetic concept?
- How does having regular holidays to remember tragic events help people process them?
Poems
- Could Have
8. Shame, Regret, Guilt, and Grace
In the opening story, "I'm just getting ready to be blessed" gives an example of a positive response to misfortune enabled by belief.
Discussion Questions
- Is forgiveness the antidote to cancel culture?
- Is shame a necessary by-product of having high ideals?
- Can you aspire to perfection without feeling shame when you fail to achieve it?
- Purification rituals - good or bad? If we can remove guilt or shame with a ritual, shouldn't we?
- Group fasting - could be fun. Not likely to gain traction in America unless it's "intermittent"
- Do shame and regret subside in middle age? Y'all should know!
Poems
- Sonnet 29
9. Sabbaths and Fool's Days
Celebrating rest, leisure time, and the joy of pulling pranks. It also makes the point that change is the only constant, using the metaphor "you can never wash in the same river twice."
Discussion Questions
- What would you do in a "last man on earth" situation? How long before you get bored?
- Is the sabbath a scriptural version of worker's rights?
- Is the sabbath pronatalism?
- Should we not view having regular days of rest as sacred? The more the better!
- Do you enjoy April Fool's Day? Do you make a point to prank people?
- Other than Loki, who are your favorite trickster gods?
Poems
- Things I Didn't Know I Loved
10. Earth Day, Rebirth, Climate Change
Many holidays celebrate our connection to the Earth already, and many other religious celebrations that invoke god could be reframed as celebrating nature or the universe.
Discussion Questions
- Is connection to nature the materialist's equivalent to connection to god?
- Is Earth day a humanist holiday? Do you make a point to celebrate it?
- Can poetry be a better way to move people to preserve the Earth than climate statistics?
- Could moral imperatives to be good environmental stewards help with climate change?
- How is the experience of understanding an allusion like an inside joke?
Poems
- When the World as we Knew It Ended
- Kubla Khan
- Ozymandius
11. Weddings
If there's ever a time where people regularly research and choose poetry readings, it's a wedding! Weddings are also one of the primary venues for forced religiosity. Often, this is due to a lack of good secular templates for weddings, though this is rapidly changing.
Discussion Questions
- Did you have a religious or a secular wedding?
- Was that what you and your partner wanted at the time?
- How does ritual reinforce the life changes and commitments being made?
- How does the liturgical nature of wedding traditions help you feel "more married"?
Poems
- Married Love
- I Carry Your Heart With Me
12. Babies
Celebrating the brining of a new life into the world is universal. This chapter also discusses the Sufi poet Rumi, whose works offer many great examples of poems that evoke the sacred and wonderous without explicitly supernatural references.
Discussion Questions
- Having a baby - the biggest life change of all?
- What birth rites did you perform when your kids were born?
- Did you have a "baby welcoming ceremony"?
Poems
- You Were Born With Potential
13. Coming of Age
One of the most important rituals that we neglect in the modern age is the Coming of Age ceremony. These rituals can help children flip a mental switch into greater maturity and responsibility.
Discussion Questions
- Are graduations is the best coming of age ceremony most kids get? What are they lacking?
- What is the importance of the "liminal space" in the transition to adulthood?
- Have you heard of a "gift book" as a humanist tradition?
Poems
- Nonsense poems
- Jabberwocky
14. Love
Love poems, haiku and limerick are the most common poems that most people write themselves. This chapter also discusses how love poetry and rituals can be an integral part of the process of seduction, allowing people to recognize each others signals and develop emotional bonds with intentionality.
Discussion Questions
- Who has written a love poem before?
- Do you agree with the Hindu list of the types/stages of love?
- What about the idea of using a "love potion" and poem to open your mind to love?
- How is this similar to the placebo effect?
- Does love benefit from scarcity? It it easier to find your soul mate in a small pool? How do arranged marriages and small towns work?
Poems
- Song of Solomon
- I'm Glad You've Lost Your Mind Over Someone and It's Not Me
15. Funerals and Memorials
Funerals are traumatic for many secular people who find themselves being proselytized to in times of grief, often by a religious figure who did not know the deceased well, and often against their expressed wishes.
Rituals for grieving and mourning can give direction to the process that leads ultimately to closure. Without these rituals, it is easier to become stuck in cycles of rumination or emotional suppression.
Discussion Questions
- How many have attended a funeral and felt uncomfortable being proselytized to?
- Have you ever attended a "good" funeral? What was the best funeral you've ever attended?
- How do funerals help bring us closure and process grief?
- Performing the specific liturgical steps, the viewing, the eulogies, the burial, the wake, the receiving of casseroles, signals that the grieving process is completed
- Do you agree with her "cultural liturgy" for funerals?
- How can poetry help us express strong emotions in times of grief?
- What do you think of the list of funeral poem requirements? Anything missing/incorrect?
Poems
- Love Sonnet LXXXIX
16. Depression and Misery
The epidemic of mental illness in modern society suggests there may be something missing from society to help people process their negative emotions.
Discussion Questions
- Did you ever turn to religion when you were depressed and religious?
- What are your "sacraments of misery"?
- Do you have personal rituals to cheer yourself up intentionally?
Poems
- Let Your Name Touch Her Lips
17. Recovering from Political Loss
This chapter has unfortunately become highly relevant once again, even though it was composed as a response to a previous incarnation of loss. This chapter explores how poetry can inspire our sense of justice and call us to political action. Facts are convincing, but when we combine them with poetry they become truly compelling.
Discussion Questions
- How nice is it that we're talking poetry, not *shudder* politics?
- What is your opinion of psalm 23? It the quote "Happy shall he be that dasheth thy little ones against the stone" a bit much, even if they are the children of your oppressor?
- Is poetry necessary to motivate political action?
Poems
- Still I Rise
18. Choosing a Code to Live By
Poems that reinforce our moral codes, ideals and values.
Discussion Questions
- How do you feel about Ruyard Kipling's depiction of masculinity?
- Is Ecclesiastes 3:1-1:5 cultural liturgy?
- Has it been separated from its scriptural origins and secularized?
- Is the Dead Parrot sketch poetry?
Poems
- The Choir Invisible
- If
19. Talking to Children and Heavenlessness
Poetry that helps explain deep feelings and subjects in ways that children can understand. How to treat mythology and stories like Santa Clause when raising children to be critical thinkers.
This chapter has a great quote and perfect metaphor for how our feelings, values, desires, and personalities change over time. "A six year old's reaction to sexuality is not predictive of the future."
Discussion Questions
- How did your parents handle the Santa Clause story?
- What did you tell your children about Santa Clause?
- Did you ever wish your kids could believe in heaven? Or been jealous of their ability to believe in it?
- Are rituals more necessary for raising children than they are for adults?
- Is it better to gloss over the reality of death with stories about the afterlife?
Poems
- O Beautiful End
20. Morality
This chapter explores secular morality and values systems. Love and morality are real facets of humanity. Love tends to be irrational, so it doesn't tend to be the focus of "rationalists." Confucianism, Social Contract, Utilitarianism, Objectivism, Communism, Humanism are all examples of secular values systems.
Discussion Questions
- Does the universal witness improve moral outcomes?
- Is the modern surveillance state a new omniscient god?
- How can poetry reinforce our values or strengthen our convictions?
- How do rational people celebrate and reinforce virtues? Why is it necessary to do so?
- Is poetic truth a valid pursuit of truth?
- How can we find poetic truth without confusing it with objective reality?
Poems
- A Mother in a Refugee Camp